Weekly Update: Struggling. That is the best word for my past week. Lots of great things have happened but a lot of emotionally draining things compiling and making my heart hurt basically. I tend to hold in a lot from those around me and get very upset when others are upset, and internalize it. And if their 'upset' is remotely related to me it just tears me up. So that being said, I'm PROUD of myself for saying this out loud because this week I had lots of 'why am I even doing this' feelings - and I KNOW logically that's silly, I know I am so happy and that my life is so much more fulfilling than it's ever been, but sometimes that mental space really eats you up.
Somehow this week despite it all I'm down .9lbs for a current total of 73.9lbs. Just keep swimming!
So that brings me to THIS photo. So much of what we read about others or see on social media is so positive so 'perfect' like these huge diamond earrings! Except they are NOT real! My point here, what you see is what people want you to see, and it can eat you up if you're not careful. I try to be open and honest because I want others to know, no one is perfect and what you 'see' is usually not even half of the picture.
I said I had a hard week, but I also had a great set of experiences, like right here being pulled up on stage in front o f 400 people to be recognized for losing over 50 pounds. These four women (and a fifth not shown in the photo) are all a part of my team of coaches, we have coached each other while helping others along the way. What you don't see is that in a room of 400 people, we are 4 of 8 that got called up for having lost over 50 pounds. I am SO PROUD to be part of such an amazing team that has seen so much amazing success on their own journeys while also helping others along the way.
What's interesting about this particular event (I am on the leadership council for our region that runs them quarterly), is that I got to get up on stage THREE times. Twice I spoke, the third was for the recognition above. When I started this journey close to two years ago, I remember starting to get this 'itch' to present at one of these events. I remember 'applying' to share my journey and not getting selected, it really bummed me out. But then I saw a space on the leadership council and thought I WANT THAT. So I went for it. I have been on the council about a year now, and this is my fifth time speaking in front of a group ranging from 30-400 people.
Every time I speak, I get more and more comfortable with it. My 'big' goal is to one day speak in front of the 500,000 coaches in our organization and from there maybe actually do some additional public/motivational speaking. Goals are what propel us forward, and sharing them is what helps make them possible.
Speaking of which, my first goal was to finish the first fitness and nutrition program that I purchased two years ago. My goal was to manage 21 days without slipping up. And I DID IT. Since then I have learned I can do anything for a month, two months or even three. I love the variety of the programs, I love that I get paid to be healthy and set a good example. Getting up isn't always easy but I have people WAITING for me to get up so they are motivated to get up too. No matter how hard my days are, I have to keep moving forward because I have created this group of amazing women who would notice if I disappeared. If you are one of those women, THANK YOU.
I like to scroll through old photos when I am getting down about things - could be an emotional 'down' or just feeling like I haven't made progress, or feeling like my food is out of control. This photo on the left was taken literally just a week or two before I decided to commit to change, so it represents my absolute highest weight. I remember being so uncomfortable in my skin. I look at my smile then and my smile now..and beyond the 'physical' changes, I am so much more happy and COMFORTABLE. I use the word comfortable in two ways. I am comfortable because clothes fit and I am not self conscious but also because my body is literally COMFORTABLE. I remember laying in bed at night feeling the rolls of my neck smother my chin. I remember noticing it, but trying to pretend it wasn't there. I remember walking and feeling fat touching fat, sweating in places that didn't need to sweat. I noticed, but I ignored it.
I don't have that anymore. I am literally just physically more comfortable.
Food news is short this week! I have been doing some great crock pot meals (my new favorite some tomatoes, onions, garlic, italian herbs, a little pasta, peppers and onions in a crock pot and add the protein to it when I reheat depending on my mood!).
But here is one thing I've been great about prepping and my son has been in love with too! My ShakO/Coconut Oil cups. they totally hit the spot when all I want to do is dive head first into a bowl of m&ms.
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Mommy & Me Website: http://www.fitandbalancedmom.com/
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