Weekly Update: This week is an exciting one. I am down 1.8lbs this week, but that's not what i am excited about. What's so exciting is the fact that I'm UNDER 200. Now, this might not seem like a huge accomplishment for those who have never weighed more than 200 pounds, but believe me - it is extremely empowering and feels like I'm getting closer to 'normal people fat' if that makes sense! I still have a ways to go, but wahoo, even with holidays upon us I'm under 200! My goal is to never get over 200 again (unless I end up pregnant with triplets at some point!). My new total is 37.2 pounds. I am very close to where I was in college weight wise when I started my first weight loss journey. At that point, I had been overweight my entire life, and went to Weight Watchers for the first time weighing in at 190.6lbs (a number I will never forget). Over the course of 18 months, I crept my weight down to 130.0 flat. In my head, once I get back to 190.6 I KNOW I can continue because it's a battle I already fought and won once. I am so close to that starting point and feel so proud of myself for the 37.2 that I've already lost. I have been the most mentally clear over this journey than ever before with my weight loss in prior years. I feel 'level' for once. I owe a lot of that to the way the 21 Day Fix has made me think about food, I no longer starve myself to 'save' up for big meals and I never really feel deprived either. I also have such a different perspective on weight, weight loss and goals this time around. I have an amazing support system through my Facebook Group (Fit & Healthy - a group for women) that motivate me on a daily basis to continue with my journey.
I loved this quote, I think I snagged it from someone's Instagram. Really, it doesn't matter where I got it just that I did! It says a lot for where I am in my life right now. I have been searching for years (since maybe I was a junior in high school looking at colleges and having to pick my career path at the age of 17). We all struggle with this, I'm sure (except maybe a few lucky ducks out there). I went on a retreat on an island off of Boston Harbor in college called "Halftime" that was dedicated to Sophomores finding the right fit for themselves in the future. While, at the time, I didn't really know what to do with the information I was learning, it always stuck with me. At this point I was still pushing 200 pounds and had been since I was about 13. I had never found the 'fit' me, I had never seen what being strong could do for my body and soul. What stuck with me from this conference was three questions they kept asking us to answer:
1. What brings you joy?
2. What are you good at?
3. What do people need you to do?
These questions I find to be so powerful. Think about them, think about your current job and think about how you would answer these questions. I think most of us settle for two of the three, often tomes the latter two. The third one obviously is most aimed at the making a living aspect of your career choice. I may be excellent at flicking pennies and it may bring me joy, but if no one needs me to do it I'll have a really hard time making a living, right? I challenge you to think about these three questions, as I have almost daily from the day I left that retreat. I am still working to find my answers, but as I embark on my new endeavor as "Fit and Balanced Mom" I am getting closer and closer to that goal. What brings me joy in life is helping others - in any aspect that I have knowledge I love to help others. I am motivated by helping others establish and reach their goals (and not just in fitness & health - if I have knowledge that can help someone, I am the first to be a helping hand). What I am passionate about, however, is fitness and health. I have had a long and not always easy journey. I have been fat. I have been fit. I have been 'fat fit' (fat but strong) and I have been just plain old fat. I have had motivation, and I have lacked motivation. I have lost weight and gained it. I have run half marathons and hiked countless mountains, but I have also struggled to get up off the floor due to excess weight on my joints. It is all of these experiences and how I have overcome them that give me the knowledge and passion to help others in their health and fitness goals. And I truly believe that I am good at it. I am genuine and patient and non judgmental.
In light of all this, I want to remind each and every one of my readers one thing. Regardless of your challenges, goals or struggles YOU MATTER. That is the number one thing you need to remember. You matter, and you deserve it. I love this photo, from a summer camp friend of mine running an amazing project (Look for the Good) reminding people to find gratitude in their day. Take a minute to remind yourself that YOU MATTER, once you can accept that you have the power to do anything.
I'd also like to take a few minutes to touch on my week this week. One of the most exciting parts of it was attending Bikram Yoga at my favorite studio in Downtown Hartford. This studio is where I found lot of my inner strength in the year leading up to my pregnancy. On a whim (after trying Bikram here and there a few times), I decided to buy a Groupon for a new local studio. I bought it with friends, which made me more likely to actually go. I started going slowly here and there (it was a 3 month membership that I purchased), then after about 4 or 5 classes something clicked in me, and I started to crave that hot room and the 90 minutes of open eyed meditation. For those of you that know me, you know I am always moving, thinking and doing. I can't sit still to save my life. For this Yoga always irks me. I'm sorry to admit it because I know how many benefits there are to yoga, but I just can't relax enough to feel the benefits. Something is different with Bikram. Maybe it's the heat or the sweat, but it forces me to find that inner calm and push myself. It's just me and my body when I'm in class. What I loved about it when I was going regularly (eventually 5-7 times a week at my peak) was that every day my body brought me different treasures. Every day I could do something different that the day before seemed impossible. I saw that progress and built up confidence along the way. While I'm still working to find the time to fit in the 2.5 hours on a more regular basis (90 minute class, much needed shower and 20 minute commute each way), it was nothing short of a delight to fit in class this past weekend.
And a quick update on my beloved new LLC - here is one of our Spring/Summer sites, and as you can see, my little guy is a total explorer enjoying his surroundings!
Every day something new happens that brings me more excitement. I am trying to quite the voice in my head that feels overwhelmed here and there, and engage the one that gives me those butterflies in my stomach when I make a new step towards my goal. Here are my new business cards, complete with my wonderful logo made by a close childhood friend. I feel so fortunate!
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