Sunshine and Rainbows

This week was a mix of finishing up my trip to New Orleans, heading to North Carolina, then driving back to Connecticut!   What a week.   

The best part was going to NC and being reunited with my little buddy, a week is a long time to be without him.

On one of our first days together we went outside and saw the most beautiful rainbow, no doubt a gift from Thomas, who is thought of daily and never forgotten.

I usually crave my alone time, I work out with Ben once a week, but the rest of the week want to be alone with my thoughts.  But after nearly a week apart, I welcomed him in my fitness routine, doing workouts together for the entire time we were in North Carolina.  

...which meant he did a combination of jumping around, climbing on me, and reading.

This photo is a very important one, I took it realizing that for the first time in nearly 4 months I was able to do not just one, but five unassisted push ups.   I may not have gone as low, or as fast, or as long, but this is a huge personal victory for me.

Amidst all the fun, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I also had many struggles, more struggles than I have in weeks, while on this trip.

Between the travel, and also seeing people I hadn't seen in a while, being in social settings with women, pregnant women, babies.  It all compounded several times, leaving lingering tears for close to a week.

This is a part of my grief journey and likely a part of my entire future, so I'm learning to embrace it as it comes.

Here I wanted to show some progress photos, they are not as drastic as I anticipated when I was pregnant and planning my 'post baby' comeback, but they are still important.

While I'm grieving daily, I'm also using fitness and nutrition to give me a healthy outlet.

These photos represent my first few weeks, still round from 8 months of pregnancy, then 2 weeks later with my 'round' belly starting to drop and hang with a hollow inside.   Now 8 weeks postpartum, I am feeling more able to engage my core and work towards strength in new ways.

...for me, and for my buddy, we continue to workout and focus on our nutrition each day.  Not for a six pack, but for happiness.

It seems like a funny time to start a new nutrition plan, but while I was traveling I committed to a new 3 week plan, that totally maps out your nutrition for the 3 weeks which is what I need at a time when even small choices cause me extreme anxiety.

Here is one of the things I packed for the airport!

And my first dinner!

And of course this, my favorite smoothie full of nutrients that help clear my  mind.

This is a favorite as well, chickpea mash with eggs, spinach and cheese!

I also discovered this while in New Orleans, a chicken salad made out of chickpeas! So easy, I have no idea why it never occurred to me in the past.

And at a high level, here is a full day of me on my new plan!!